This diary entry is prompted by my visit to you last weekend. I don’t know why I decided to visit you but after many years of being apart I think that it was in order for me to visit you. What we shared was special and needs to be documented but I won’t send this to you because you’ve already been through enough.
I remember meeting you when you were a freshwoman at University of Nairobi. Then I was a sophomore and you had difficulty locating your room. From then on I could not wait to meet you more often. It must have been by sheer luck too because by then you did not know your way about the vast varsity and I was only too eager to lend my hand.
Life was surely good and I cherished those moments. The times you would come to my room at Mamlaka then we would watch sitcom after sitcom. We would then talk about our various past and our future aspirations.
I remember the times we would go to the movies and The Kenya National Theatre to watch the best of Kenyan thespians doing their thing. It was fun, cruising in the streets of Nairobi you holding my hand and so many envious dudes looking my way. You were at your prime. You used to laugh at each of my joke and that made me feel like I was the best man in the whole world.
We did not have much money then and Uhuru Park, Arboretum and the University Sports ground would be our picnic sites. Nevertheless, the fun that we had was unimaginable. But then if you had been patience enough our bliss could have been long lasting.
When the rumours started doing the rounds I quickly dismissed them. I knew that my friends were just jealous of my nubile girlfriend. See, I did not trust even my best friend when he said something ill against you. I had fallen head over heels for you.
They tried to tell me that a campus girl needed two boyfriends; the primary one who is the marriage material and the secondary one to supply her material needs. They said you had found a milch cow for the latter to complement my efforts. I could not agree to such an outrageous accusation because I knew that you and I were an exception to such theories.
That a man nearly as twice your age could come with his Toyota Corolla outside Hall 20 and you would readily get in to the car was a ridiculous allegation to me. As I was told these I vehemently denied and whenever I asked you about it you denied it too. However, I think you deserve an Oscar for keeping me in the dark for the three years that we were together in campus. Apparently those were the times during the weekends you would go to the estate. I did not know that you had relatives at Buru Buru but I did not voice my objection since I trusted you. I noticed too that you had changed your tastes, with expensive cologne, dresses and shoes but you reliably informed me that your uncle in the States would occasionally send a dollar or two to you.
Since I was a year ahead of you I knew that I was going to prepare a place for us. That was however not to be. The rain started falling when I fell some little problem in my crotch. When I visited my doctor I was shocked to be told that it was gonorrhoea.
I was astonished but I still trusted you. So before I informed you of my status I asked that we go get tested together. You advanced all manner of reasons and that is when I knew you had been playing me all that time. Thank God I got cured.
Baby, you had been too willing to part your legs to some little known sleazeballs so that they could take you shopping. They had money and they promised that if they could get at the junction of your thighs you would be in a state of nirvana. All your woes would momentarily disappear and paradise would be there waiting for you.
Even though you came from a humble background I did not think you could be so naïve to give in to some married men undergoing a middle age crisis. You were too gullible my dear, and so impatient. So there you were thinking that even before you got your degree you would instantly rise vertically on the corporate ladder, you could not be that ingenuous. I got news for you; a man who wants to get into your pants first really just wants that.
Even more importantly is that you forgot that your market value would not just remain the same. I had told you that the life of a woman followed a normal distribution curve and right then you were at the crest of that curve. When you became pregnant they all sprinted away and that is when you learnt that they had families that they were committed to.
All in all it was unwise for me to pay a visit to you. It was a case of fate having veered off the road. Living in a bed-sitter at Kayole had not been your dream. In recessive environment and rising commodity prices your measly income did not help the situation. I just stood as you cringed in explaining the troubles you had been through. After a short moment of bliss, men dumped you like a used tissue and you were left crying alone. The end result was two kids and still expectant with another all with different fathers. Tears kept streaming your chubby face as you narrated your ordeals but I did not utter a word. What could I say? The water had already been spilt.
See by our timetable this was the day we were supposed to walk down the aisle. We had laid everything down but then you did not keep your end of the bargain. You remember the days we used to point at those cars at DT Dobie saying to ourselves that we would one day buy them? Well I was there yesterday. I did get a test drive with that Mercedes C class that was our dream car and today I am going to pick it. You should have been patient with me. Even though I am still single, I now know that we were just not meant to be together.
Goodbye Stella. Adios my lover.